forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Randomize
