Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Randomize
