I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Randomize
