genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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