I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
