Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
