..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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