I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
