no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
