i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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