You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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