You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Do you have feelings for this penis?
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