oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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