Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize
