Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
