I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Randomize
