i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
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