Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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