u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
