Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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