do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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