Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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