When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize