i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Randomize
