I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize