and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
