I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
