Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Randomize
