I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
how does that bad decision feel?
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Randomize