never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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