i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Randomize
