I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
