the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
