I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
