turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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