literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Randomize