one two three fourrrrnication!
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
