I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
