question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
