I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
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