Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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