I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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