Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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