So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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