And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
