I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
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