I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Acid is not a monday night drug
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
