Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
