I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize