I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Randomize
