i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
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This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
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Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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