You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
