Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
