If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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