Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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