I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I need moral support for this bender
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
