guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Randomize
