I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I can't put those talents on a resume
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
