I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Randomize