are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
