We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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