some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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