he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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