Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Randomize
