oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
