so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
P.S. I can't hear my feet
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Randomize
