it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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