I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
